where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
They took my balls.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
