it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
