porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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