please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
