just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
