Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Holy shit dude........stairs
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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