omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
