Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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