I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
