the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
