I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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