help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
