id be glad to
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
