Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
