Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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