Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
