Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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