I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
