Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize