she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
