She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
