i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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