Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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