They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
