Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
