ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
