Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
