Hey man sorry I got all grabby
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
