You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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