You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
