hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
