grandma shit on top of the toilet
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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