I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
