Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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