Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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