I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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