i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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