Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
