Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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