I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
that may or may not have been my penis.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
