Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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