foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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