i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
