He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
