can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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