Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
