my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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