so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
