You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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