I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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