Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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