I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize