Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
