I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
