And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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