doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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