what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
