Duck Duck Cougar?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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