There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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