I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
