I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
