i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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