Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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