return my video game
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
NoShamevember. You game?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
